F... Attack

I hear them coming. They make little licking and sucking noises. They get closer, closer, TLUK!

This is it, they attache themselves to my stomach, my legs, my behind, adjusting ever so slightly so installation is permanent.

I try to say 'no', I try to shake them off, I stretch, jump, cycle, try to shake them off in water and on land but the attachment is strong.

They are calories and they will not let me go! (literally, I'm heavier).