The Ways We Communicate

• Remember the line: "Mom, are you asleep?" usually recited in a low whisper, while checking your mom's eyelid up close? I find texting to be the same.
• If you want to call my attention but don't want me to over think what you're saying, buy me a gift. A BIG ONE, nicely wrapped and hand it over with a big smile and a hug.
• Meet - nothing compares to face time.
• More people at your party equals more communication venues, more flow, a good chance of at least 2 meeting of the minds. Make sure you have the right space for it...
• If it's a secret don't communicate it. Not to ANYONE.
• Want to surprise and delight me? send me hidden messages - fun codes, hidden notes in unexpected places, think creatively. Do Not use gossipy people to channel your messages.
• Communication is at its best when both sides are ready
• Communication is key to good relationship - but you knew this one before, right?

How about you? Please communicate:)

No heat, no light, got friends

It is dark and powerless in our area of little towne. We slept in an encampment by the fireplace, washed dishes by hand - thank G-d for small wonders, the water heater runs on gas, so it is quite a joy warming my fingers under the stream of soapy water AND getting read of the dirty dishes at the same time!

I’m in the library, writing to you and counting my blessings as a way of not getting depressed. If you need some Pollyanna mood, please skip to the blessing part below. If you are up for beaching, keep reading.

The Beaching list:

It is DAMN COLD! I don’t like cold. It’s freezing.

I don’t know how they did it in the old days, probably they had much less room, but here we are, all equipped with our iPhones, smart phones, droids, androids, BlackBerry, iPad, iPod, amplifier stations for the formerly mentioned, radiant heating, big screen TVs, elaborate ovens, refrigerators, microwaves, laptops, gazillion gadgets and NO GENERATOR!

Hubby actually offered to buy a generator and my response was: ‘let’s not make this big buy a hasty decision, electricity will probably be up soon and then we can sit down, discuss and decide, not under pressure. Well guess who’s under pressure now… if there was a generator available I would be up and ready with cash at hand but now there are NONE. On the other hand, we can sit and discus...

Starbucks looks like a deployed area. Every outlet hooked up to, every seat taken. Bacteria must be happily thriving.

No TV, no electronics, no connection, no access to news (ok, I’m exaggerating a bit), no phone, no video games, no light for reading, no way to heat up food or cook, no internet, no connection – did I say that already?

The Blessings list:

Few friends offered to host us while power is down – we love you!

We planned Hubby’s birthday and had it on Saturday (20 out of the 30 people showed up – yey!), in the candle lit living room, near the fire place, with big sweaters on, lots of cheese and wine – we had a blast!

Kids at school, hubby at work, my office was closed but now it is operating.

Malls are open

When in despair – clean. The fridge content is at the freezing garage, its inside clean (I really like the hot water)

Library is open, found outlets, am warm!

We have HOT WATER - yey!

Managed to talk to my mom, always up lifting

No vacuum, no light to see those pesky little dust bunnies:)

Went for coffee with a friend, found a warm CVS to walk around in –Oh, the glory of capitalistic society!

Restaurants are awesome and open


Amazing what we need to be happy when we have a lot. Even more amazing how little we need to make us happy when we have less.


Stay warm and happy, make sure to count your blessings every once in a while and share some of them with others. You’ll be surprised what you find!

Yours truly,
Sara Brown.

Just One More Thing

Now I'm standing in the in midst of a war zone (i.e. 'kitchen'), dishes bubbling on the cook top, the oven hissing joyfully, serving spoons ready to go, piles of dirty little dishes in the sink.

I have a hard time convincing myself I'm really done. Maybe one more dish? we don't want the guests to go hungry... what will they say?

I have a list for the month, for each week, for the day, for the different parts of the day: first shift in the morning (some call it 'work'), second shift in the afternoon (kids), third shift in the evening (whatever didn't get done in the last two shifts, plus Hubby). So while Princess dances and Handsome plays, I do the shopping, put a little something in the oven, a small load in the washer and off to do my schlepping rounds. 5 minutes are a whole lot when you are having fun... Maybe I'll make it to Marshals, it's right by the supermarket.... Get One More Thing done.

I teach my ways to my kids, too. We review Math on the way to school, read in one language on the way back, read to Hubby when he gets home, review spelling words over breakfast. If there's any more time we plan ahead - but of course!

I wake up at around 2am. A mysterious purplish light shines through the room. For a moment there I think the mother ship has finally come for me! But as I approach the source, Princess' iPod, I see the Smurfs message about the ripened tomatoes.

Halleluiah blue friends, I'll add gazpacho to the list!

Education - Revolution Needed

There are a few points to be made for better education.

I know, I know, you are thinking: what a beat up subject to right about, stop complaining and go with the flow.

Only going with the flow isn't my strongest suit. So here are my points:

1.      Technologize - no point lugging heavy books back and forth. No point spending money on printing those books, buying current additions, etc. Students should be assigned a laptop, schools have Wi-Fi connection, the rest is there. Homework and tests can be submitted through email, post on blog, forums, HW rooms, memory stick. Schools with smart boards can check homework at the board.

2.      The case for Skills vs. Content - we should teach more skills, less content. The skill or ability of finding information is far more important than the skill of memorizing data. With smart phones at almost every hand, I doubt people should memorize poems, bible chapters or dates anymore.

3.      Information is king, now check who's the queen writing it - Students must learn how to scrutinize the information at their fingertips. They should know the agenda of the publisher, or at list make an attempt to check it, before taking that view into account.

4.      Great idea, now sell it! - Presenting a concise idea in a marketable way is another important skill. It is never too early to start, too - just think of "I want that toy, it is at my friend's hand, how do I get it?" tactics children learn early on. Later they can make the case for pocket money, a gadget, a grade upgrade or a course they want to take with this spirally learned curriculum.

5.      Survival of the 'hood' or Sesame St. smart- Community building is a skill we acquire (or not) through life. Same comment goes for money managing and social and individual responsibility. It used to be taught at home, by your parents or Mr. Rogers. It used to be taught by a close knit community, THE NEIGHBOURHOOD. Some have it now, some don't, but as a society/nation/human beings grouped in space and time, we need it.

6.      Thinking skills - how do I approach a problem? Once I observed a lesson at my daughter's school. The teacher taught a thinking process by folding a paper into four squares, each square showing development. She asked the students to draw an ant. Then she showed them how to approach that task in 4 stages (if they grow up troubled they should get the additional eight): what we know, what we need, how we get there, completion.

7.      Know thou strengths - and focus on developing those strengths. No need to spend all this time making you better at something you'll never excel in.

I know there's much more to be said, and hope you have something to add.

I'm off to take a walk as part of my solve-the-fat-problem skills I acquired, looking to sharpen my 'presenting a concise idea in a marketable way' skills.


Cheers,
Sara Brown.

Life Coach Advice

If I had a life coach, s/he would have advised me to:

1. Take it one day at a time

2. Take a deep breath, count 'till ten and release the air slowly between days (see #1)

3. Count my blessings. Count again. Write it down. Read it to myself. Hang it on the bathroom mirror 

4. Appreciate what I have and remember to thank for it 

5. Dream bigger and more everyday 

6. Do something about it 

7. Be assertive and require people to acknowledge my contribution/strengths/good traits 

8. Capitalize on my strengths instead of trying to overcome my weaknesses 

9. Carve time during the day to relax, do nothing, be me with no obligation/certificate attached

10. Brush, floss, eat my vegetables, walk/swim, laugh every! single! day!


What would you advise yourself?

Yours truly,

Sara Brown.

Home Together

It has been a while, I know. Sorry to keep you waiting.

I've been at my job for a year now, we've been at our house for almost 6 months now, hosted many guests and as I peek from the upstairs office I can see the roof of our Sukkah with some golden red leaves decorating its top.

Some new neighbors got in the houses around us and now, when we walk the dog or do yard work (I do management and crowd control), it feels a bit like Mr. Rogers' neighborhood. It's fun to know thy neighbor, have them stop by with their dog/baby/baked goods. Especially baked goods.

Princess like dancing in front of the glass doors made into mirrors at dark, Handsome decided to invest more in his studies this year (halleluiah) but still complains about playing the piano. I like it when he masters a new piece. After all the shouting and complaining it feels good to accomplish a harmonious musical piece.

I hope all is well with you and yours. I will try to take some pictures and add them in soon:)

5 Things You Can Do When Your Kids Are Away

G-d blessed me with a pair of awesome, magnificent human beings called: my parents. Earlier this month The Magnificents took our kids and off they went to grandma's house (Hallelujah sounds). While they are there I managed to work more (can't help it) but also to enjoy the following:

• No limits time limit - no need to drop off, pick up, drive to, be there at, etc.
• Guilt free days - with no cooking, next to nothing in the fridge, no guests-no cleaning policy and no-specific 'where' I should be at in 'no specific time', I'm free to roam the country... OK, county...fine- neighbourhood - on my own, at my own pace
• The ultimate diet - no need to grocery shop and cook, definitely means slimmer. Add all-the-time-in-the-world-to-go-to-the-gym and I should be Julia Roberts by now. Is there anyway I can physically stretch me? I know how to stretch my time, abilities AND all about how to gain those cute stretch marks but I can't seem to stretch myself taller...Help?
• Discover your girlfriends - well Aloha girls, I can finally go out with you. On our own! sans kids! do dangerous, adventurous stuff we never dared to before! Coming for coffee?
• I can shop 'till I drop, I can party all night, I can read for hours, I can spend time with Hubby, I can talk on the phone, with NO INTERRUPTIONS at all for as long as I want; I can make my hair appointment whenever I want, I have time to get a facial/massage/whatever pampering thing I want, I can call/Skype with the kids and know they are coming back soon.

So forgive me for not staying long to chat, I have some places to go, people to see:)

Happy summer to you all,
Sara Brown.

Almost in...

It's the final stage of our new home in the East.

Handsome and Princess chose their rooms and their paint, blue and pink-purple respectively. Lows team members are on a first name basis with us and our contractor Jeff misses sleep over the coming inspections. We think we should just move in with him and his family, I'm sure their home is very well built.

We celebrated the last week of building last weekend by... guess what.... building an IKEA closet for the walk-in! Still is fun. NOT.

Below are some photos from before. I promise to post the new and improved as soon as we are in, the art is hanged, towels on the hangers and my wine glass is filled :)

Granite in the kitchen

Preparing for the winter with radiant heat

Speckling 'shoes'

The neighbours asked me about the house warming party.....

We Have Rooms!

My original title was: We sheetRocketed, but I change it since it didn't come out the way I felt...

A lot has happened in the past month:

I visited CA with Handsome and saw my friends, hugged Laurie and Nolan, dined at the Hagit's, felt the warm air, danced at Jacob's Bar Mitzvah, even got big bright lemons from my friend Orit's garden!

We ordered all tiles, put in all windows, chimney'd the chimney, got all our faucets, ordered all the light fixtures, got air and electricity in, passed inspections and.... have sheetrock in! what can I say - we rock!

Our architect Raul of Imagine Architecture is amazing and so is our very favorite builder, carpenter and contractor Jeff  from Jeff Berger and Sons, who calms us when we get too anxious and explains every step so we can 'see' it in our minds eye even when there's nothing to see... yet.

Below you can see how far we got.... so far:)

Garage side

Hopefully we'll have enough money for a fancier outhouse. Just kidding....

Before the chimney went up...

Chimney is up - isn't she lovely? 

There's a window over there now - promise to post a picture soon

Our bedroom atop the vaulted ceiling of the living room 

Have I mentioned we now have actual rooms now, since the sheetrock is in?

In the rooms and bathrooms, that is...

Bubble bath anyone?

Happy Purim Everyone!

Click to see: http://www.youtube.com/user/westdawg63

F... Attack

I hear them coming. They make little licking and sucking noises. They get closer, closer, TLUK!

This is it, they attache themselves to my stomach, my legs, my behind, adjusting ever so slightly so installation is permanent.

I try to say 'no', I try to shake them off, I stretch, jump, cycle, try to shake them off in water and on land but the attachment is strong.

They are calories and they will not let me go! (literally, I'm heavier).

Trees Treason

 We had to do it. They were raising the floor, threatening our soon-to-be roof, we had to do it. Sorry trees...

Hurry Up, My Cement is Getting Cold

Surprisingly enough, cement does get cold. Our cement guy has special blankets for it. See below:

I stood there long enough to take pictures and hear Mike's patient explanation about construction stuff and my ears almost fell off. IT'S SO COLD!

Posts I Havn't Written

It's been a while since I wrote, sorry I've been away for so long...
I thought about you almost everyday, tossing titles for the next post in my head, not getting to use them.

Hear they are for your inspection - choose the best one and I'll write about it:

• Windex, Paper towel, GO - stories of the 24 hour virus
• If everyone else has HW and he doesn't, it doesn't necessarily means he's a genius, it might be he's NOT DOING IT - stories of the homeworkly pressed
• Thank G-d I'm out of the electric closet - mapping out a new work place
• Building permits are no picnic - well, Da...
• The sweet illusion of part time positions - if you're a working mom you know what I mean
• The door left ajar is the hardest one - mystery

Stay warm,
Sara Brown.

My Life in Increments

24 hours in a day. That's 1,440 minutes a day. I sleep for some, so that's lost.
7 days in a week. Two of which are weekend days. Weekend days are stretched. They worth more. I cram much more into my weekend list.
60 minutes in an hour, 10,080 minutes in a week.

It takes 15 min. to move about town in every which direction.
It takes 30 min. to get to any store, work, etc. Then you have to get back, so double that time.

School has about one event a month you have to be in. Lost two hours including the drive.

Grocery shopping takes about two hours a week, if you are really, absolutely, no nonsense, ridiculously efficient shopper. I can't. I tend to follow my eyes, daydream, feel hungry, shop for more then we need. With kids? - add 15 min. at list.

Walking the dog = 15 min. twice a day.

Showers, other mundane everyday human needs - about two hours a day.

Homework, programs, lectures, extra curricular classes, wait to pick up - about 7 hours a week.

Computer/gadget time - 3 hours a week. OK, OK, it's more.... I don't know how much more? How many?

Are we there yet?
What will I do when I retire?

On a Sweet Day I Can Sweat Forever

A riddle:
If Sara Brown ate 2, no-3, OK, maybe 4 or 5 , actually...7 candies, how many miles should she walk to get those off, out and away from her belly line?

An answer:
If she eats while walking she can eat-walk forever!

Halloween is over, excess candies carefully taken to the office yet the kids get to keep theirs...

Handsome saved only what he liked and that stash (thank goodness) is almost done with. But Princess likes variety, hence she kept most of what she got (nice looking pile), causing for the sweets bucket in the kitchen cabinet. I don't even like those candy bars but I learned how to open one without noising with the cellophane wrapper....

Miss Liberty

As I stand here, torch in one hand, matches in the other, braising myself for the change ahead, I can't but feel appreciation.
Appreciating in value as I recharge (not the credit cards...), replenish (the fridge), revamp (my home office), re-unite with my old self and pre-pair (with my new bag) to go to work tomorrow!
A year of soul searching, job sicking, coffee meeting and way too many lunches passed by and I am launching the new me -  the Back-to-Work Mom.

I look down and notice my shoes are till blue... patina color.

"Hey, Miss Liberty, we got the same shoes"!

Women from Marse....

Hubby stayed home today. Definition is: Working From Home. He DOES work, yet it's nice to have him near....

When he calls to update his phone message he uses the following line, that makes me stop dead in my tracks (trail of laundry scattered on the floor) and listen in amazement: "I'll be working remotely today", he says, and keeps talking about communicating with him.

Oh, language nuances, how I love thee! Every so often someone comes up with a line or a word that keeps me entertained (or entwined) for hours, and this line was certainly one of them, because if I was the one leaving that message it would have probably sounded like this:

"Good morning, this is Sara Brown. I'll be working from home today. My kids are sick/I'm signing a house contract/my relative died (G-d forbid) /it's a very important religious holiday/ I'm on my way to the hospital to give birth but I'll be in tomorrow/my car died/it's been snowing all night and we are waiting for the rescue squad/ we've been flooded and I'm calling you from the evacuation location...I am so terribly sorry I missed you and would love to talk to you as soon as I can and make it up to you just so you are not bothered with my sudden absence so I'll make it up to you as soon as I come on Monday, don't worry it will be fine and I can certainly work from home using the phone and computer, I actually have two! Just like in the office, and one of them is portable so I can actually take it with me wherever I go, so, you understand, It's just like being in the office... you know what, I think I'll manage to pop in later on today, maybe in two hours but DO leave me a message and I'll return a call as soon as I hang up. Have a nice day!"

Really? no, not exactly, but that would have been what I would have thought as I actually left the carefully versed 3-5 liners about 'working remotely'.

What's your version?

Lots of Good News!

I'll put them here in bullet points so you can rejoices and dance around each point with me:

• Our architect Raul is the best, quick and easy to work with.
• I have finalized (almost) all the bathroom and floor tiles around the house, plus the kitchen. Looking at designer sites like houzz  and consulting with friends really helps!
• Our loan got approved - yey!
• I got a new (paying) job, starting this coming month - Hallelujah!
• Got all my favorite songs on my playlist and it's great!
• My son has nice new friends and they have actually visited!
• Lost (and don't want to find) about 13 pounds!
• enough exclamation marks, don't you think?

Flex Your Brain Morning Routine

My son is going through.. puberty. There, I said it. I rather call it 'maturity'. Sticky business, if you ask me. As part of the maturity process we might open our breakfast with a question like "why do women wear bra?" or "how many times do you need to have sex in a week?" - I've been coughing a lot at breakfast lately.

But when my daughter asked me this morning, while tying her shoe laces "why do I feel so alone in the world all the time?" I didn't cough and no one could have heard the tiny cracking sound of my heart. I know she misses grandma, I can guess what Sartre would have said, yet I didn't know what answer to give my 6 years and 3 days old daughter. I certainly know how she feels but why now? and how could she verbalize it so well when it took me a lot more years and a slew of theories to recognize what I felt and name it?


We went for a walk with the dog - always a good way to reconnect with the creator and find answers... or fend them off... As we were walking I told princess I know how she feels (affirmation is good, right?), I told her many writers, philosophers and artists have tried to find an answer for her question because it's a very important one.... and then I had to answer it already, no more stalling, so... so I said I know she misses grandma and grandpa and by making new friends and staying in touch with old friends and family, we can lower that 'alone' feeling. I'm still looking for a better answer. It was an enormous, great question and I'm sure I'll find many more answers through life but I need an answer now, so if you have one - PLEASE COMMENT. What would you have answered?

On our way to school she asked if the sun that shines at grandma's is the same sun that shines on us and how could it be - what an easy question to answer! Thank G-d for 6th grade geography.
And what a beautiful young brain, to think of a unison like that... life is truly AMAZING.