Move it Move it Move it

It's Tuesday, and Tuesday is my  Train With The Enemy day. Our trainer is a former KGB instructor, I'm sure of it. And I'm a communist wannabe with capitalistic aspirations to be a buffed up spy movie star. Too bad we left California.

Training starts with a combination techno/pop music so quick you can jog right through this class. That is, if you're a high power spy in training. Our friendly KGB instructor has abs of steel,  killer behind and perfectly sculpted arm muscles that are not too masculine, yet perfectly defined. She is wearing  a 'grandpa tank top' and pumping her arms as I pray for help from the Divine.

Our KGB trainer has this eastern European accent, which made me mistake her for the Elderly Yiddish Training Instructor who trained my great aunt Bluma and her 70+ girlfriends in the park.

But no, our trainer is, for sure, no doubt about it, a former KGB personal.
SHTAND SHTREIGHT she yells, and we all grow an inch. My abs are trembling with fear as I SHTRETCH TWO THREE and I'm dreaming of being, maybe, one day, UP TWO THREE Jennifer Garner in some early Alias version.

Indeed I should. Because at the rate we MOVE IT MOVE IT, schlepping body bars and weights atop the big circus balls, using our abs and our breathes, our muscles and strength, I should have been Rocky Balboa by now, or at least Rockova Shtrongova.

Add Some

Monday is my spinning class day. If I start the week with spinning, I have an energized week. Everything is possible after I've survived Monday's spinning.

It starts in the dark. The music is uplifting and loud. So uplifting and so loud my brain stops spinning for a while so my body is left to its own device. As soon as brain attempts to kick in, the fumes of my fellow spinners' efforts take it by surprise, shutting it off completely. Just imagine, a whole hour without brain...

Commo' Commo', our relentless teacher, energizes the group: "COMO' COMO'" she shouts (hence the name) "GIVE IT ALL YOU GOT" I feel my gut spinning too. "ADD SOME" she instructs, "ZONE 4, YOU'RE IN ZONE 4" which means I'm breathless, a quick minute and I'll be spinning to my first and only heart attack.

The long legged thin thighs no stomach girlfriend just next bike is moving in all directions, her long skinny legs aim to fly on their own accord, for sure she just added some, her top-of-the-head pony tail becomes alive and is happily chirping around, synchronizing with the surround sound. She moves to the left, moves to the right, and fights the fat, fight fight fight!

I should do that too, brain attempts to interfere and get me to add some, but the loud music repeats: 'DON'T LET ME GO' and I think of the cookies and cream, the mocha of my dreams, let those thoughts go and spin harder, adding some resistance. If you love someone, set them free, right?

Como' Como' lifts my spirit and gives it one last spin, get up, stay down, "RIDE IT LIKE YOU STOLE IT!"

I've never stole a bike, I was thin back than, didn't need any spining...