Monday, August 17, 2009

Driving New Jersey

Right now, many happy Orange County residents are non-chalantly driving 40-85 mph in the nice 75 degrees, fair OC weather. Here on the Eastern front things are a bit different. We drive 25-40 in the screeching heat of 92 degrees. I wonder what they say about it on Mars.

We've been stopped recently, no ticket - thanks G-d - but the nice smiling cop warned us that 25 mph is the permitted speed in any residential area from here through NY and up Connecticut. I want to see the New Yorker who drives 25 mph. Probably cussing loudly all the way to his destination.
So all this time, when I thought people here are really old or really drank (hence their aggravating 25 mph driving speed), they were actually lawful citizens, aware of residential traffic laws and the cops behind those lovely green bushes...

At 25 miles per hour you can go brain dead. You can read a short article. you can put mascara on. Or open the mail. Text all your friends, breath slowly and get into a hypnotic state, interview for a job on the phone, meditate (maybe even float to the top of the steering wheel), consider vacation plans/wedding plans/your options plan if you're lucky enough to have one. At 25 mph your mind can get lost and find it's way back to another era, driving a buggy. And if it's hot like today you can slowly evaporate into your seat, dreaming of flies and horse shit.
Luckily we got home safely and I can type, 50 words per hour, no ticket in site.

Sorry to end this so abruptly (when you're on the 25 plan EVERYTHING is abrupt), I have to go Velcro my tires, it will help me keep from crossing the limit.

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